berk survival guide
by dragongirl582
Summary: the rules in berk oh and please send your ideas for rules please..i suck at summaries
1. Chapter 1

hello this story was inspired by snowflake1814 so please don't give me all the credit

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rules 1-11

1. never give snotlout math

me:ya...  
(flash back)  
me:hey!snotlout wana see in this box*holds out pink box*  
snotlout:umm okay*reaches out to grab box*  
me:nope solve these *holds out math paper*  
snotlout"*mutters*fine

2 hours later

me:done sn-WHY IS THE ARENA WALLS HAVE NUMBERS ON THEM!  
snotlout;i used them so i could figer them out troll-brain me:you could have used paper!  
snotlout;i was to lazy...

2. fishlegs you can't find another night fury on berk

fishlegs:yes you can!  
me:no you can't

3. do **not** give tuffnut any thing sweet

me:"unless you wanna die from bieng annoyed

4. don't take an axe,dager,or sword from astrid with out telling her

me:"i still got the scar *shiver*

5. **don't **make fun of hiccup

me"or i'll hunt you down and #$ %&^*!#^$# %$^*&^$# $^*^%$##%^&**^# #%^*()%$# # (to scary to write down)

6. listen to me no matter what snoutlout:trust her on this one flashbac}  
me:so i was like,snotlout or you even listening?  
snoutlout:oh,ya keep talking(goes back to starring at astrid)  
me:so she said,ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?  
snoutlout:ya...(drinks mead)  
Me;SO NOW I'M PREGNANT WITH HICCUPS CHILD!  
snoutlout:(spits out mead)WHAT!  
hiccup:what?(looks afended)  
twins:HAHAHAHA(START LAUGHING)  
astrid:(tries to say something but starts laughing)hahahaha fishlegs:realy?

7. no pregnant jokes

me:hey!i was trying to make snoutlout listen to me!  
hiccup:you still should not have said that.

8. no bringing back coffe from the futer

hiccup:does the same thing to tufnut if he gets his hands on it

me: i NEED IT to stay awake hiccup!

,rufnut stop fighting at the rong moments!  
me:they fought when alvin came back a second time and when there was a tornado(i plan to make fanfics of these)

10. do not give rufnut sugar

me:she does the samething with tufnut

11. don't fight with fishlegs

me:remember the change wings and him and snotlout, don't fight with him unless you wanna die

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please give me ideas for rules i need them it's harder to come up with them than you think

please R and R :D


	2. Chapter 2

hi like i said i need rules people

* * *

rules 12-21

.i am not aloud to watch the great hall by myself

me:why not!

hiccup:you almost set the hall on fire

asrtid:and drank half th mead supply

.no breaking the fourth wall

me:the last time we did sombody filed "alien"on me when they saw my wings and tail ya...

.no calling me fishlegs or hiccup nerds

me:snotlout did and he got 24 scars 1 each time he called us nerds

.no ding-dong-ditching mildew

me:the last time we did he got his revenge by stoick banning us from even getting near mildews place

snotlout:fun while it lasted,...

.no pranking alvin

me:long story short hiccup got captured and took us a week to get him back

.fishlegs is banned to going to the meathhead libary

me;we had to knock him out for us to leave before the hairy scary libarian fown us

fishlegs:i still got the bump

. don't get astrid mad

me:remember breakneck bog and tuffnut...and that bony hand

.the word fun is banned

me:stoick said we use it to much

stiock:ya'do

me:but the word fun is so...FUN!

.don't sneak up on toothless

me:unless you want to be roasted like a marshmellow...

.do not get snotlout drunk

me:last time he did he started hitting on me and said 'will you marry me babe' i was so freaked out

i locked him in his house

hiccup:he also set his house on fire

* * *

thanks to winged werewolf of the night and ultimoto the great for rules 20 and 21 read and reavw!


	3. Chapter 3

hi again!

* * *

rules 22-31

.tuffnut is not aloud to go near change wings for his own safty

me:took me awhile to explain it to him,he is a slow learner

.pet rocks are banned

me:don't ask...

.DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES go in my room!

me:or be prepared to die a painful death

.tag is banned

me:if you play with us hint;BRING FIRE PROOF CLOTHES AND A SHEILD

.astid is not allowed to kill snotlout

me:as much as she might like it

.tables are not platforms

hiccup:*cough*dragongirl*cough**cough*

.older siblings rule

me:oh yea!(high fives tuffnut)

tuffnut:so true!

ruffnut:hey!

.no more howling at the moon

astrid:it drives me nuts

me:BUT I LOVE IT

astrid:NO WAY

me:YES WAY

astrid:NO WAY

me:YES WAY(flies off)

astrid:she'll never learn

.snotlout,for the last time,STOP STEALING MY JOURNAL.

snotlout:diary :p

.never let an eel be in the same room as toothles

me:if you do it than you have a death wish

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hoped you injoyed oh and please send in ideas ineed them or i'll update less and less oh and i thank stalking you for rule 31


	4. Chapter 4

hey!

* * *

rules 32-43

.don't succesfully sneak up on toothless

ultimoto the great:ya i snook up on toothless the nightfury one time,and got these scorch

marks all over my body to prove it*shows marks*

me:ewwwww!one word:disgusting!

.no alowing oc come to visit

me:hey!it's not my fault that i did'nt know alvin had a oc and tryed to get him to take hiccup!

tuffnut:and who showed alvin fanfiction?

me:hmph!

.fanfictin is not allowed

hiccup:we had problems when dragongirl brought some thing called a 'computer'here and well we read disturbing things...

.no playing truth or dare

me:i made snotlout do stupid things lets just say he was under house arest for a month..hehehehe...

.all of us are banned from haveing matches

me:NOT MY FAULT

hiccup:ya right...

.i'm not allowed to cook

hiccup:we all got food poisning snotlout:stangely hiccup was the most effected...

.no being nocturnal

me:strange things happen...

.no waking ruffnut up early morning

me:this is a tip for survivale

.marco polo is banned

me:ugh*shivers*

.snotlout stop hitting on astrid

me:she dosen't like you

snotlout:hmmm,you look extra pretty today dragingirl

me:oh cr*P

.me and hiccup are the only ones alowed to go with hiccups dad to go fishing

me:don't get me started

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ya!i thank ultimoto the great for rule number 32!


	5. Chapter 5

i think i found pictures of movie 2 hiccup and holy crap!he's cute!

* * *

rules 44-51

.the twins are not alowed in the forge

me:we have our reasons

.you can not touch my wings

me: they're sensitive(rubs left wing)

hiccup:ya right

.me and me only is alowed to go near mildew

me:he hates hiccup,snotlout the twins annoy him, astrid, she hates him,fishlegs is scared around him...

.no eels near me

me:i'll do the same like toothless!

.sticks are banned

me:pitty they make great swords..

astrid:exactly why they are BANNED!

.no talking about my age

me:makes me feel old

tuffnut:your 1,009 years older than us

me:(picks up big sharp stick)what did you say tuff?

tuffnut:NOTHING!

me:thats what i thought...

.cheese is banned

me:who knew cheese could do that*shivers*

.this is my corner of the room!

me:mine...(moves to left corner of the room and hides in the shadows and eyes are glowing in the dark)

hiccup:ok...slowly moveing away...

* * *

i also whant to put that the dragongirl in here is a oc so if you think i put myself in my story your WRONG!


	6. woah

whoa haven't updated in a while

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rules 52-56

(52).every thing i do is real!.

me:witch means that when someone says its impossible i prove them wrong!

hiccup:true..  
(flashback)

me:stupid snotlout he broke my wing you can't touch my wings!

snotlout:well,theres no rule about it!  
me:then i will make rules!  
gobber:i sugest ta stay off the wing (finishs rapping it with cloth)  
(2 hours later)

me:OH MY THOR I AM SO BORED!  
snotlout:then do something

me:(starts jumping up and down trying to fly) fine all fly the!

snotlout:you have a brocken wing..remember?

me:you know gravity (floats up into the air)

hiccup:what in thors name!?...

(flashback 2)  
me:finally found a big enough paper (drags 3 foot long paper to the great hall)

astrid:where did you find it? (stares at paper)

me:on out cast island hey its hard finding a 3 foot long and 4 foot long paper (mutters something else)

fishlegs:what?  
me:FINE I'LL TELL YOU!

tuffnut:tell us what?

me:i stole it from alvin (smiles evily)

ruffnut:what are you going to do with it?

me:turnit in to a...you know what it'll be a suprises

snotlout:what?but i want to know NOW!

me:wait for it snotty

(45 minets later)

me:finally done.

hiccup:what is it?

me:a bird (points to paper bird origame)

astrid:why did you make it?  
me:hello!? broken wing!

hiccup:still dosen't explain it

me:so i can fly

fishlegs:is that even possble to me that is not possible

me:ya know fish?(gets on bird)screw reality!(origame birds wings start to flutter and takes off)

fishlegs:holy thor!

hiccup:this some how dosen't suprise me.  
me:wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

(flashback 3)

me:boredboredboredboredbored...

fishlegs:let me see your bored

me:yep..

astrid:whats this (picks up red and brown rock)

me:(grabs it) looks like dinasor poop..

tuffnut:ewwww...i whana touch it!

ruffnut:(stops tuffnut from grabing it) whats a dinosar?

me:its like a dragon but does not breath fire nor flys well at least some...

astrid: GROSs! (flings it to the ground)

me:it's actualy not that gross..it actualy comes from plant eating dinosar

astrid:well i need proof then..

me:okay be back soon (runs to woods)

(1 hour later)

me:i'ma back ma peasunts!(pulls rope from woods)

astrid:so wheres your proof?or did you lose it

me:nope..just let me get this in uagh he'sa tough one!

astird:who?

me:oh right he's a dinosarisisisisy

astrid: a dinosarisisisisy?

me:my way of saying dinosar now be a dear and get everybody to come and help me pull this guy out of here he's propaly eating agian

astrid:fine,i'll be back

me:she's an evil woman i just know it (shakes heads)

(two minets later)

me:'bout time you came bac he's dragin me back in the forest,dam 3 ton reptile

hiccup:well we are here to help

me:look i'm startin not to care just help me beore this guy rips my arms off

snotlout:fine,fine don't get all touchy about it

me:you do know i have a sword on me dude

snotlout:SORRY,SORRY!

me:GAH HE'SZA PULIN MA IN HELP VILAGERS!

tuffnut:(whispers)she's losing it

rufnut:(laughs)

me:OH I WILL LOSE IT IF NO ONE HELPS ME OR I'LL GET MY DAD LOKI!

fishlegs:okay fine just don't let the gods come down to ruin ower life!

me:HE WILL IF YOU DON'T HELP

hiccup:fine(grabbs rope)  
(astrid,snotlout,fishlegs,ruffnut,tufnut grab the rope)

me:PULL AS HARD AS YOU CAN!

dinosar:RAWWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

me:OH GODS HE'S MAD EVEY BODY HIDE DON'T LET THE DINO STAB YOU WITH HIS THORNS FROMA HELLA

(throws portal box on the ground)

me:steer him to the magic whole-thing!

astid:RAWWWW!(chases dino down the hole)

dino:NOOOOOO!

(portal closes)

fishlegs:(pants)did that thing just talk!?

me:yes,yes it did (falls over)

.53.i love bread

hiccup:oh gods have another piece if you bring one here alvin came here with bread and i'm suprised to say i felt bad for him

me:hahaha...oooohhh!i smell bread!

hiccup:oh gods

. dad is not alound here

me:he's loki the trickster god and i am a demigod,if any thing happens and i'm anything he'll atack

snotlout:well i'll still brag about the scar a god gave me

me:sure you will buddy,sure you will...

.55.i say srew alvin!

hiccup:this is'nt realy a rule just a statement

ME:I DON'T GIVE A DAGONS ARSE MAN I DON'T CARE!

. the nether!

hiccup:whats a nether?

me:itsa game thing

hiccup:oh

* * *

if you know the dinasors breed send it to me and you will be put in my storie

if you know what game has the nether send it to me and you will b in my storie

if you know what a demi god is send i to me

if you know where i got demi god from you will be in my storie

the first five people to send it to me will be my people!  
oh and go on my poll in my acount i need the votes my storie will be called 'caught'!


End file.
